Tim Ryan gets me to do yoga

Sources say Rep. Tim Ryan is running for president, and that he plans to do so on the back of the “yoga vote” https://t.co/jiQ7wwMpie by @ryangrim @ZaidJilani

— Caroline Kenny (@carolinerkenny) July 23, 2018

About two hours into swingin' from the stirrups above my boudoir, Tom Brazaitis wipes my caked bodily fluids off his mouth, finally, takes a few belts out of the bottle of Four Roses, gives me more work.

"This guy Tim Ryan runnin' for president ain't all he's cracked up to be, Dottie."

We light each other a Lucky Strike. Brazaitis combs his disgusting back hair. Like I need to gumshoe some washed up high school quarterback in Iowa. "You got a story here Tommy, or should I take the bottle over to Ghoulardi's place?"

"He's goin for....the YOGA vote." Now I'm intrigued. Betty Cope tries to get me into yoga positions all the time, says the sex is better. Always figured that was just Betty's PBS way of bein' coy.

"You expect me to exercise for a story?"

"Hell no, you just get...you know...a side benefit."

"For Betty??"

"For Betty. Ya know you want to, ya old hag!" He's got me there. Brazaitis always knew his way around a girl. We head over to Ghoulardi's anyway, he's got Bob Bennett in a missionary position in front of the Van Sweringen brothers, we just hop right in. Next morning over Bloody Marys, I announce to the gathered perverts of Cleveland's Media Afterlife I'm back in business. 

Betty Cope's ears perk up.