Saturday, September 02, 2006

Reader mail from the poorest city in the US

Dear Dorothy,

I love your blog. It's better than reading Dan Savage. I need some advice. Last year, my Episcopal priest wife started getting it on with the then mayor of the poorest city in the US whose campaign she was running. I walked in on my wife gettin' busy with the mayor, in my own house. Did I mention they're both women? My manood has been shaken to its core. What do I do?

Dying of Pride Evisceration

Dear DOPE,

I have just the thing for you. Give your Episcopal priest wife more of your money so she can start a new investment project with her lesbian former mayor lover. That way, you can keep an eye on their hot girl-on-girl action while they spend your fortune, and no one will be the wiser. Keep me informed.

Dear Dorothy,

I'm a former mayor of the poorest city in the US. My husband's been a prancing gay our entire marriage, so I started going down on my Episcopal priest campaign manager during my last re-election campaign. She's hot, totally your type. Only problem is, we lost the election, and now I think my political career is over. What do I do?

Jackin' Off Kuzza Episcopalian

Dear JOKE,

Don't be so glum. All you have to do is get the Episcopal priest's husband to give his wife more of his money so you two kids can do a nifty project together. No one will get wise to any of it, so your political career will be resurrected. Send me updates.

Dear Dorothy,

I'm an Episcopal priest married to a titan of industry in the poorest city in the US. He's so cute and rich. Only one problem...I've been eating out the former mayor since before she lost her re-election. It's hot. I think about her every time I give out the Eucharist. What do I do?

Taking Rich Ass's Money Pronto


This all can be solved with more of your husband's money. Start some swell new project with your husband's fortune and put the former mayor on the board. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it out, too? Update me along the way. Thanks.


Village Green said...

Dear Dorothy,

What is your position on the latest national political scandal?

A fan

Tim said...

Dorothy....please be my mentor. I want to be just like you! I have a ouija board and a bottle of scotch with your name on it. Please, Big D, please! Be my guide through the world of gossip!

Joey Polanski said...

Dont tell me Dorothy has died ...

... again.

Anonymous said...

He, however, smiled vaguely and, sitting down, coughed slightly, and placed his fingertips together.. I think I have seen the same thing even in this city.. The aim, as well as the result, of the suppression is to stop the development of this pain.. It was sufficient to have come to his own land; the actual walls of home could wait.. Abner sat hard on his cap and blushed silently. With no volition of their own, their uncertain young legs carried them to the porch.. Ain't that so? Jes' so. Pooh! said Joshua, spellin' ain't nothin'; let them that finds the mistakes correct 'em.. One becomes a member under the regulations laid down in old Judge Dudley's will.. The Superintendent showed some of his old tendencies, as he went round with us.. Of the Church! We ain't askin' any questions o' you --and we ain't takin' any answers, said the foreman, sitting down promptly.. Now only some conversation is necessary to confirm the solution.. Evelyn was sitting thoughtfully on the porch when her father and mother returned.. When darkness came suddenly at last, he made in toward shore, mooring to the warm-fretted end of a fallen and forgotten landing.. The Buller-Podington Compact , by Frank Richard Stockton, is from his volume, Afield and Afloat , and is republished by permission of Charles Scribner's Sons.. The horse seemed to be going faster than ever. Now, apparently, the stream of thought thus started and abandoned may spin on without regaining attention unless it reaches a spot of especially marked intensity which forces the return of attention.. It was a personal caricature.. Is it so grievous a fate, to see? inquired I. You have not any wide stretch of water, such as I like so much, but here is a pretty river, those rolling hills are very charming, and, beyond, you have the blue of the mountains...

Stefanie Collins said...

please start updating this again!