They don't call me the Patron Saint of All Cleveland Journalism for nothing, kids. After a trip to the bowels of hell, a roll in the hay with an old flame, some sleuthing, guess who gets the scoop. So let's get right to it.
DF: Nice Christmas tree.
TR: Thanks! It's an honor to have you here.
DF: Flattery'll get you nowhere, kid.
TR: Coffee? Tea?
DF: Got any gin?
TR: At this hour?
DF: Honey, hours, time of day, means nothing in the afterlife. Let's cut to the chase. What's this about some trouble you got into 12 years ago?
TR: Well....(phone rings)
DF: ....excuse me, I gotta take this. Hello? Hello? These infernal contraptions....oh, drat, how the hell do I pick up this call?
TR: Just press that button right there, Ms. Fuldheim.
DF: ....HELLO? WHO'S THERE???? ANSWER ME!!! Ghoulardi? What the hell do you want, I'm in the middle of an interview.
TR: Tell him I said "Stay Sick!!"
DF: One at a time for christ's sake! What? Ok, Ok, I know, I KNOW. Allright already! Goodbye. How do I hang up....
TR: Press that button there....What did he want?
DF: He wants to know if I'm gonna go see Sam Miller.
TR: So it's true!!
DF: Sweetheart, you need to mind your own business.
TR: You know he's still around down here.
DF: I didn't just fall off the turnip truck yesterday, kid. You want me to go from here all the way to the east side? In this weather?
TR: If you need a ride...
DF: NEVER MIND! Allright, let's get back to it. So...where were we?
TR: You were askin me about...... (phone rings again)
DF: DRAT! These phones! Why did you people invent this ridiculous machine?
TR: Press that button right there again, Ms. Fuldheim.
DF: HELLLOOOO????? Who's this? Oh, I can't hear a thing, can you help me young man?
TR: Sure, gimme the phone. Hello?
DF: Why me.
TR: It's Elliott Ness. He's askin if you want extra vodka in the hairy buffalo tonight.
DF: GIVE ME THAT PHONE. Ness? What the hell do you think, do whatever you want, I'm busy. Can you hang this up for me again please?
TR: Sure, ma'am.
DF: Now, back to the (phone rings again)
TR: Still popular as ever!
DF: HELLLOOOO?? Who's there? WHO IS IT? Listen, if you people think you're gonna get away with this......
TR: You know, you can actually turn the phone off so it doesn't ring.
DF: Shut up kid, you do know I interviewed Hitler.
TR: Yes, Ms. Fuldheim, so sorry.
DF: ....hello? HEEELLLLOOOO? I think that bastard just hung up on me.
DF: Bob Hope. Still a prankster....oh why me. Tells me Madge is tryin' to beat me to the punch. Well, she's got another thing comin'.
TR: We can do this another time if you want.
DF: Listen kid, I gotta go. Can you call me a taxi?
TR: A taxi? That'll take forever.
DF: Isn't there a trolley nearby?
TR: I can give you a ride, where do you need to go?
DF: If you tell anyone you took me to Sam Miller's pad, I'll send Barnaby down here to torment you with his magic parrot.
TR: I thought.....
DF: No questions kid. I'll be the talk of the town upstairs if I can pull this off. I'll show those old coots.
TR: Lemme get my coat. (phone rings again)
DF: Please tell me how to shut this damn thing off.